Acharya Girish Jha
We are living a world where modern science and technology has virtually contracted the earth, its people through communication transportation and audio visual aids. Man of today is exposed to hundreds of people, information, activities everyday, which is more than the man of 100 years ago, is. However, there is no qualitative change in the brain and mind except that man of today has strengthened his memory bank by repetition. Repetition and information gathering and its simultaneous expression may consider man considered intelligent in the modern world as he succeeds in manipulation and acquire material riches. However, brain and mind is still incapable of meeting demands of outer space, which results into chaos, violence, hatred jealousy, war, disbelief, etc. Infact we as a representative of entire human race are more violent, jealous, diseased than our for fathers, solutions offered for these burning problems are partial, unintelligent dogmatic, biased so instead of any everlasting peace it further aggravates. Then what should we do as the highly developed species of the earth?
FACTS OF WORLD
We live in a particular family, society, community nation, and act constantly, interact with people, things environment every moment in order achieve peace, success, health and happiness. However, we generally cannot maintain peace and happiness at all times and often enters into conflicts, anger, fear, greed, violence, and war at the cost of achieving positive results. However, our every effort escapes the beauty, peace, happiness in life. We do not like 100% out wife, children, parents, society, nation, and earth. Everytime we are related to outer space, we always try to either escape or fight but never respond in a manner that could bring about harmony within ourselves and also in the external world in which we live. How should we be 100 in our relationship?
ALL PROBLEMS ARE PROBLEMS OF RELATIONSHIP
We must go to root of problems in order to understand clearly the relationship. Whenever you say, “I have problems with my wife or father or husband or money or society or nation or anything,” what does it mean? Does not I means problems of relationship you discover that your relation with external world viz environment, people, relatives, money, etc is not what you expected and you realize there is a problem. Are not all problems, problems of harmony? If we discover or live in harmony within, we may realize or discover the harmony outside also. I am just talking about the possibility you have to discover for yourself. Nevertheless, there are instances, we ignore our self within and constantly complain criticize the external world as the sole factor of all problems. Many young students who used to come to me for yoga and meditation classes revealed to me “Sir, my father does not understand me, so I am planning to run away from house” or “Sir, I have been tortured much now I am planning to take revenge” or “Sir, this world is not suitable for me, I am going to commit suicide”. All these statements reflects problems of relationships at home or office or in society, nation and in the world. Let’s us discover this relationship, and problems of relationships together to find a solution as life is very precious, tremendously sensitive and demands harmony form moment to moment.
HOW TO BEGIN THE INQUIRY?
What happens when you experience a headache? You feel same uneasiness, twitching in you head, may be heaviness, you hands moves to head and you give word or make a statement to your uneasiness “I have a headache.” Infact, you become aware of head and uneasiness in the head together. First thing to begin inquiry is to become aware of the facts as movements, passivity, activity, stillness, or anything. We lead our problems and sufferings, we must become aware of it, and we should neither rationalize, nor escape, nor substitute, nor avoid it. We must face it as it is. We should never be fearful and frightened. Fear comes from when we do not know the thing or event and at other times, it comes from losing the pleasure and its continuity.
Human beings actually become human being when they become aware self-aware. Human being is in the process of becoming he is not perfect as he grew out of animal race and potentially more than human race. He has to become aware of himself first viz of all his lower nature, movements of all conditionings of ego, of mechanical routines in order to evolve into human being and later much more than that consciously.
Second step is observation of facts as it is. When we are tired, our perception is distorted. When we are guided by sentiments, anger, selfish interests, our perception is colored, distorted and controlled by unconscious drives and desires and many a times fancies and hallucinations. However, when we are aware we are under extra ordinary attention, which observes and perceives what is there in every detail. What do think?
Don’t you require an awareness in which every event or thing is perceived rightly and correctly, so that life can be lived in a smooth manner with happiness and harmony?
Right perception always is the product of right attitude, right attitude comes when you do not take things for granted, when you do not lead your life with conditionings, unconscious drives, petty desires, anger etc. It comes only when you are genuinely interested to know and to live. It comes when all claims of knowing the world falls. It begins with when you realize that your claim to know a thing but you do not know. In this awareness, you become humble and open. All humility comes in your being not as a by-product but as spontaneous event in tour life.
I read a story. A man was and the horse moving and carrying his engage on his shoulders. He was afraid that horse would not move if the luggage were kept on the horse back. We, infact, do the same thing in our lives. Life if considered horse always mobbing and we try to keep all burdens of desires, farcies, conflict on our shoulders but we invent a joy in that suffering. We face too much stress but we rationalize. In addition, we never try to put these burdens away from us. Do you understand what I am saying; you need not to believe what I say. You need not disbelieve either but look within look at your life with awareness and understand.
AWARENESS OF SURFACE BEING
We act all the time. Life without action is death. Isn’t it? Don’t you realize this as a fact? In addition, the moment we act, we enter into relationship; we are bound to enter into relationship. Action without relationship does not exist at all let us understand together as do why we act or how we act to enter into understanding of relationship.
Speaking, guiding people in the field of yoga ever the last 15 years, I often asked “what is the aim of your life?” as aim determines action and motive too. People replied that they work (act) for money, recognition others responded that they work (act) for security, sex, material riches, authority, position, still others told me that they work (act) for social service, helping others. Don’t you realize that you will also respond in the one of the same ways as others had? We understand together the motives of action and their aim. We work for money and gradually invite conflicts, stress, problems and miseries in our lives. A person, healthy, intelligent, assertive once come to me, in India and asked me “can you teach me meditation and relaxation?” Looking at him, I responded with a smile” Oh! Yes. But, sir why your are after relaxation and meditation?” He replied “ Because I am tense and full of stress, I am unable to run my business, I suffer from insomnia and when I go to office, I become angry and now the thing has gone worse”. With a smile, I again enquired” Sir, what you do when I teach relaxation and meditation and you are relieved of all your problems?” His eyes brightened, looked at me with a surprise, and with difficult smile answered, “Sir, I will work more and more to increase my possessions money and authority”. I interrupted him and said “So, sir, meditation is tool for you to increase your income, your position, and authority. It is better to look for another teacher who will guide you meditation the way you desire. However, sir, why you are interested to put yourself again into the hell after coming out of it? Why don’t you realize the motive of your action is the product of wrong perception? And it is not important what manner; with what spirit you perform a particular action.” I could see his face twisted a little with anger within, stood up, and left my room.
How do you observe yourself? With what thing you identify yourself. In addition, for what end? We live in stress but seek more and more. We seek security but live in insecurity. We seek lot of money but remain poor inspite of accumulation millions. We seek authority but remain very pity as we depend constantly on subordinates to show our authority. We seek happiness but become miserable and escape from all glories of life.
When we act out of motive, we infact do not act but react always all the time. For example you want to earn money, wherever you go meet people, interact in a group, your perception is coloured with this motive of money and start reacting in relationship to earn more and more. In addition, by reacting, you loose spontaneity, clarity, humility, and awareness. In addition, result is stress, conditionings, disease chaos in your life. I am not offering solution. I am pitting things as it is so that you can see the fact, the truth and enter into right perception.
PUSH YOUR LOWER NATURE OUT OF YOU
Many people often say, “Sir, I don’t become angry I don’t want to be angry but it comes? Similarly, we experience stress, anger, conflict, and tension in our relationships with disbelief, fear, authority, position instinct. Can we move in our relationships without any of these traits of our lower nature? Yes, we can, but first we have to understand that at present, our relationships are based on motive, petty interests and when these are not met in our actions, the lower nature (anger, chaos, stress, miseries) enters in our life. So what should we do? We must begin our action with awareness and openness without any image or movement of lower nature. It is not a long process, method but we have to become aware in action whether we are moving with a motive or with awareness. When we move in awareness and openness in our relationships, we are full of care, patience, love, and affection. Lower nature do not comes but even if it comes. We say “Let’s us sit together and clear our doubts and misunderstandings. You open up completely, there is no lower nature influencing you and you call upon, you move with care, love and affection to people, things and objects. You enter into relationship that is beyond and, above and extra ordinarily beautiful than relationships that are ladled, based on utility, guided by instincts e.g. Husband and wife, father and son, teacher and disciple employer and employer.
The human being is the product of animal instincts conditionings of many centuries, social moral and ethical codes that kills the real human being within or it remains potentially at sleep. Lower nature through its various instruments guides and overpowers the real human being who is full of love, care, affection, and peace. Self-awareness with right observations brings lower nature into field of conscious awareness and one feels humble full of love and care and patience. This is the way to let lower nature disappear or otherwise it returns with memory, past habits. So one must live consciously and act out of affection to enter into relationship.
RELATIONSHIP?
“Sambandh” is a world used in India to indicate relationship. However, relationship does not qualify fully the word Sambandh. “Sambandh” is made of two words “Sama,” means equal, similar, sameness likeness and “Bandh”, means band, integrated, to be united, so “Sambandh, means equally integrated likeness of band or movement. However, relationship literally means to be related and to be related for exploitation, manipulation, interests, motives and desires. When we are integrated into whole, the authority, position, motives, interests all disappear completely. And this leads you into a relationship full of love, care, affection but without any label of husband and wife, father and son, teacher and disciple. Employer and employee, leader and follower as all these are the products of lower nature, mechanical movements and of conditioned mind and of an attitude who does not want to change for progress and harmony.
Relationship of care, love, and affection is maintained when you keep your mind free from lower nature, conditionings, labeling and images, when somebody asks the introduction, you say, “Oh, she is my wife or He is my husband.” It is O.K at physical level but while introducing, at psychological level, you are guided by the image and conditionings that you have built and created over years while living with your husband and wife. In addition, with that image and all pleasures and sufferings associated with that label, while introducing, you relive, repeat all past events of chaos, violence, conflicts etc. In addition, you loose the spontancity and become a hypocrite. When you act in relationship with care, attention love, and affection, you never become angry. You are always at care, attention, affection, and peace. Infact, you move into it without any consideration of label. As affection, care, peace, and love are essential nature of existence so action and relationship are integrated into whole and you discover everlasting freedom, peace, happiness, and love in life.
Relationship: CREATIVE EXPRESSION
Relationship responds in conflicts, chaos, violence, and war when the two in relationships are rigid do not want to move from their fixed, rigid idea, opinion, image etc. Relationship is not a compromise and what two agree and what you together do not agree as disagreement within leads to compositeness fear and jealousy. Relationship is not a common minimum programme and which two or more people work together and refrain themselves from those issues where there is deep disagreements. This kind of relationship is not a relationship but arrangement. Relationship is learning while living for the finest, highest adaptation to the situation, event, action, and incident.
Relationship means responding together in love. Care and affection inspite of non-cooperation from other side. Non cooperation dissolves in that relationship where the one moves with affection, in a spirit of cooperation for creative expression. Relationship always responds never react awakens you to learn, to express what is beautiful, delightful, intelligent, lovable, understandable. Extra politeness without awareness, affection is sign of hypocrisy.
Relationship means to be humble in action in movement, to be cooperative with anybody and everybody, to be creative, to be highly sensitive to move only for care, love, and affection.
PEACE, HARMOY, LOVE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Relationship becomes extraordinary important when you constantly move in Peace, harmony and love. This brings success, high energy, integration. This relationship does not came by cultivating or acting superficially in Peace, Harmony and Love as this attributes are natural and one with existence. They also do not cames by suppression, repetition as it breeds the ground of hypocrisy, cheating, manipulation, and exploitation. The question is how we should live in relationship that is healthy, creative, evolving, and full of peace, love, and harmony. By looking intelligently into what prevents them coming to my life. Images about others, conditionings, mechanical life, unconscious drives, and ourselves fancies and imagination all prevents beauty of relationships. It is because our mind is constantly scattered in images, conflicts, conditionings. The first thing is to look at mind, its nature and its ways as this reveals motives, images behind relationships. We are so preoccupied with our actions that we do not have enough time to know ourselves or be self-aware. Self-awareness demands gathering of mind within so that we meet reservoir of peace and quietness. This peace and quietness within brings about extra ordinary attention in which facts are perceived, events are perceived as it is without any image, prejudice, pleasure, and pain. There had been a tradition in India to get up in the morning before sunrise and sit peacefully quietly so that self-awareness remains throughout day in all our activities. This extra ordinary attitude had now been lost by the practice of rituals, customs, mantra chanting etc.
In addition, when we are in Peace, harmony and move in relationship, it manifests through affection, unity and integration without any prejudice, image desire. All prejudices, images and desire cames from motive to achieve something in relationship this motive is the product of learning unconsciously from tradition, form society how to live and act in relationship. This motive acts in isolation leaving aside the other vital details of living. So motivated action in living and relationship begins with inner conflicts and ends in outer conflicts and we waste our energy in trying to rationalize, console, colour which also fails miserably and we enter into guilt, disease, and suffering. Therefore, when I understand that motive in relationship brings all miseries I remain watchful, careful of my minds and habits and do not allow any motive to come in so I begin anew relationship and learn by it and live with tremendous energy, peace, love, and harmony.
This relationship brings freedom to choose, naturality, spontaneity because we care, share, love, affect and move in intelligence and creativity relationship becomes means of self-expression of manifestation of delight, beauty, energy, peace, harmony. Let’s begin with yourself first enter into relationship with all layers of your existence so that there comes integration in you and you become whole, indivisible and move with extra ordinary care love and peace. It goes into your family you become a better husband, wife, father, mother, son, student, employee, and boss. So relationship in society, nation, and world blossoms. You become a global citizen, a citizen of earth. That is the fulfillment in life, in action, in the world.
